Sweet Surprise

I have hesitated to journal this, because it was so strange and wonderful that I wanted to observe it for a few days first.

About a month ago I felt God nudging me to pray a little differently, well, a whole lot differently, for our family. I began daily, hourly proclaiming the various freedoms listed in Luke 4:18-19 about every situation and individual that came to mind.

Prompted by the messages at our church, I have come to see that God does not want His people floundering about, muddling through, or coping with situations. Mediocrity or defeat or excuses are not to be our options. We are supposed to win every time, to take the territory.

He is happy when we live in a place where we have truly snatched our lives back from pressures that have been hassling us, perhaps even for years. We have wished and wished certain monkeys would shoo from our family tree, and now they finally are skedaddling.

My question has been, God, how do I do this? We are supposed to be "new creations in Christ Jesus; old things have passed away. Behold ALL things have become new." Really?? How can I NOT be impacted by the bad things that turned me inside out years ago? Can I ever hope to be that kind of Free in this life? Can I really be untouched by what may already be in my family's bloodstream?

It is even more nagging to us who have plucked children out of the darkness of an orphanage in Ukraine...or Romania...or China, or wherever. Who knows what violence and pain and twisting of minds went on in these kids' histories! Is there a way to erase it entirely? Do I need a priest to exorcise my kids just to be sure??

Why are there times when a stubborn something comes over my child's face and he digs in his heels for no apparent reason? Or he flares up for seemingly nothing at all. Or squeezes tighter or grips a table knife as he talks about someone we know he loves? Why does a child whisper with teeth clenched, "I will get you," when you know he is truly glad to be with us in his new home.

Why would a girl say, "I want to go back to the orphanage," when she knows there is less than nothing for her there? When there is death in the streets for her there? Why, when I have seen the great longing on her face as she lays her head on a woman's shoulder, does she turn hateful when given the mothering she craves? Why?

Should I scold her? Should I discipline him? Should I reason with them both? Should I listen to them pour out their anger? Should I demand they show gratitude? Should I have someone else plead with them that they are crazy to throw all they have away.

Can I MAKE James love his Ukrainian brother and convince him otherwise, when he is certain that Peter is his one grief in life? When between times of happily playing ball together, he makes quiet little jokes at Peter's expanse. Should I wear myself thin running interference or manipulating things so each child gets his or her special times to feel uniquely appreciated?

While these things have their place, none of them ultimately can change a heart. I have tried them all, and at times I have stood scratching my head as it has only grown worse.

I have always believed that Jesus Christ has all the answers, and that He delivers us from all forms of evil. that has been my experience. But what if I have asked and asked and asked Him about a specific thing, and He still hasn't done it? What if the kids we brought from Ukraine 'don't work out' and we fail because we just couldn't break through the something that is holding them? What if our biological kids are the same?!

The first thing I know in all this is a great revelation. The 'something' that seems to be clinging to a person, is really a 'someone.' And the second thing I know for sure is that I have no business trying to get it off, unless I am baptised in God's Holy Spirit. If I am not, I will get whipped trying.

The greatest comfort is that that 'someone' hates being around the Presence of God. And I can be filled with that Presence, the Holy Spirit, and I CAN do something about it without getting shredded. It/he will flee. I MUST resist him in the power of the Spirit and with the Word of God, as Jesus did in the wilderness, and he will flee.

Last Sunday evening when Sherry played her worship CD, we unwittingly 'resisted' in the easiest, most pleasant way possible. We all sat and soaked in God's Presence.

As we did, something happened to James and Peter. Something got up and left them after that. Someone? got up and left our boys. Though James and Peter were darlings before, now they are dearer than ever, a degree free-er than ever.

I am choked up as I think of James coming up to me yesterday and putting his arms gently around me, or holding my hand in the parking lot at Wal Mart. I am amazed at God's love inside him shining out through his clear eyes, not only for me, but for Peter! I am deeply touched that this week he has read Peter to sleep in their beds. That last night I found them in the same bed draped across each other, listening to an Odyssey tape as they drifted off.

My eyes tear up as I hear James' voice speaking without a hint of holier-than-thou as he sweetly helps Peter with his math. I see a combined softness and maturity in his face that makes me do a double take. There is a twinkle in his eye and a gentleness around his mouth that, precious as he was before, was not consistently there six days ago.

God is truly amazing. His Presence is all we need in our lives. His Words coming out our mouths day after day are the only words we need to pronounce over and around our dear ones. We declare in faith that the love of God is shed abroad in all our hearts by the Holy Spirit.

Our Father Who is faithful hears us quoting Him and sees us walking it out. He loves it, and eagerly moves in to bring it to pass. He gladly sets us and our households more free than we were even a week ago.

Home Fellowship

In the two weeks or so since we launched our little 'home church fellowship,' we have had 13 additional people, including their kids, asking about attending. That is without recruiting anyone, just in casual conversation.

Over summer, our new California friends joined us for lunch/dinner after church most Sundays and we ended up hanging around here, swimming or going skating, just kicking back together till suppertime. At around five o'clock we rustled up whatever was left over from dinner.

This got to be a habit. One evening, before parting, we joined hands by the back door and prayed, reluctantly saying good-bye until the next Sunday. Then we stopped again and prayed that God would lead us regarding formalizing some kind of Sunday evening fellowship for anyone else wanting even more community than at their regular Sunday morning church service. This would not replace church services, but simply be another facet of 'church,' which in reality is hard to "go to" anyway, when you already ARE the Church.

Two weeks ago we had our first 'home fellowship', just our two families. Then last Sunday a family of five and a single lady joined us. Two days ago a woman at Curves asked if she and her husband could come, and yesterday another lady and man who Sherry knows with five boys asked if there was a home fellowship they could be a part of. So...

We have an idea of what God is doing here because we were in a home church up north. However, one never quite knows with God. He is not a tame Lion, and we dare not plan too hard. Once someone told me all you need to do to have a home group is get some people together and invite the Holy Spirit.

True, and what worked up north was for us to regularly read I Corinthians 14:26 which describes how a church gathering can look. "When you come together every one of you has a psalm, has a doctrine, has a tongue, has a revelation, has an interpretation. Let all things be done unto edifying." In other words everyone bring something God has shown them this past week which they'd like to share. We have also included food to that list. So based on that plan, Sherry and I brought supper, and we all brought a Bible verse with our age in the reference.

It worked well for the kids as well as us adults. We started with prayer and then our self-taught guitarist accompanied us with a few familiar worship songs. That was great. This past Sunday Sherry brought a lovely worship CD and Bob did a relaxed teaching on I Corinthians 1, which he will continue chapter by chapter. Eventually others may want to take turns leading the teaching part.

This week Peter is practising his drum, a painted coffee, which James put a string through. The two of them are happily being little boys, marching around the property like drummer boys in the War for Independence. As I write Peter is accompanying a Michael W. Smith worship CD. Maybe he will 'perform' for us at 'church.' Who knows? It is always supposed to be a fun surprise.

Annual Report on the Boys

Like I really need a puppy to train right now, but she is a sweet thing, very bouncy and affectionate. The other night James went out to the porch to see her before bed and put his head down next to her. I found him asleep there, so I took a sleeping bag out to him. From his days "outside" as he calls them, he enjoys looking at the stars. We need to go camping. All three boys enjoy the little pup, and it has distracted them from losing Skipper.

The boys are progressing along nicely, I think. I am too close to tell, but the Sunday School teachers enjoy their volunteer spirit. Both Peter and James are not at all jaded, of course, and are interested in whatever is being taught them. Peter needs to be stifled at times because his voice is too loud or inappropriate. But I personally really like him.

He is still home schooled in the mornings so we can drill the phonics and number facts. I don't think this child could properly read Russian when he came. No wonder he had trouble reading English. I believe when God places His hand upon a child's head, the peace flows in so he can read each letter and decipher the word. When he takes a wild guess at it and then bangs his head on the table, it is time to talk. When we do, especially if I make a little joke, he tries again and gets it.

James is a polite intelligent young man, not at all shy with adults, and ably converses with any aged person. Last evening at home church he had a Round the World Bible quiz for us to play. Do you know how many days Noah was in the ark?" After that he sat down obediently and listened to his dad teach the Bible.

James' hand is up constantly at school and his home room teacher, who occasionally teaches him Sunday School, needs to shut him down if he gets too verbose. The basketball coach came to me practically begging that he be allowed on the basketball team, not because he knows a lick about basketball, but because James has such a good attitude he wants the boys to be around him. Gotta love that coach!

All three are winding down their football season. It was good for them and taught them to be brave and to persevere. Rob's sweet self has now taken on a gutsy side that makes him all the more likeable. Occasionally he lapses into a pity party when he realizes the little brothers are not ever, going to go away. That they will be underfoot forEVER.

Then he bounces back, and I see him teaching them basketball skills in the driveway and horsing around during kitchen clean-up. We all need to get over ourselves sometimes. I also need to remember Rob needs some special times with Mom too so I always try to stop and look when he shows me a beetle or the latest old clock he had dismantled and made into some kind of motor.

Occasionally James, lets down his guard at bedtime, and tells me that he still hurts inside, and sometimes is convinced that I like Peter better than him or that Dad doesn't like him because his Saturday job was harder. I am aware that only God can convince him of his security in Jesus. I can't, and I only know that when people disappoint you, you by-pass them and go straight to God to get your loving and comfort.

Yesterday I got to share with him and Rob the greatness of the love and sacrifice of Jesus Christ, that His death erases sins, past, present and future and heals absolutely every hurt, past, present and future. They listened like they'd never heard it before.

He and Rob are growing in their relationship. Because I am not as blunt as Rob is with the boys, I appreciate his correcting James, and James takes it and learns from it. I look forward to the day when they are equals. It is coming too. Last evening after Peter was in bed they talked and played darts in Rob's room a while.

Sometimes I get my priorities out of place and take it all too seriously. Now and then I need to say, "G'night boys, I am going to sit next to your Daddy and watch TV or sit on the front porch rockers and watch cars drive by. (well, watch the quiet road go by.) Say your own prayers and tuck youselves in. If you have any problems, just deal." You'd think I'd have learned that one ages ago. I guess if I didn't trust them and know that they will obey me, I'd need to be concerned, but God has been good to us. They have never, ever been the slightest bit sneaky. Occaionally mischievous in a funny sort of way, but never sneaky.

Sometime I get a scarey feeling in the pit of my stomach and think things are harder than they really are. I never felt this way with our girls, but perhaps it is because the boys are adopted and we took this big risk in getting them, especially as older kids. The world is watching you, and you think maybe you will become a statistic and one of those horror stories they told you about.

They were told you out of concern, but they really were supposed to scare you away from the call of God that was so heavy on your heart before you got your kids. But truly, if you had thought through all the worst case senarios about giving birth to children, would you, in your right mind, ever have embarked on that either?

So we press on, setting aside unreal expectations, and love as Jesus loved, receiving His strength and intervening power. When I step aside and invite the Holy Spirit into a conversation or interchange that is not going well, He somehow smoothes it out.

Jesus said, "Come unto me and rest." Watching Him at work is more fun than straining about it. Proclaiming that we will do just fine by God's grace is so much better than declaring over a child that such and such a behavior is "worrisome". Shoot, when it comes right down to it, I'm worrisome! So are you! We all are worrisome!! Without Jesus, we are a worst case senario. But that is why He came. That is why His name is Redeemer.

Last week I suggested to the guys we have a "correction free day", when we don't critique each other. It was more to give Peter a break because he is at the bottom of the pecking order. The two older guys want him to be liked and want their reputation to be unsullied by an uncool kid brother. So it was a challenge for them not to be straightening him out all the time. It did alert us to how critical we had become and how unfair it is for the guy at the bottom.

I recall God speaking to me quite sternly about one of our girls, that I was NOT to criticize her for anything. I said, "But Lord, she does so many things wrong!" (I was such a sweet mother!) And He seemed to be saying again, "Don't criticise her. For ANYTHING; leave her alone!" Shortly after that I noticed her stooped shoulders straighten up.

Though Peter may deserve a lot of correcting, his spiritual understanding and his pure, sweet love of Jesus is enviable. He is really a joking, singing, pencil sketching, happy-go-lucky kid at heart. Occasionally he even acts his age emotionally. Generally he is a cuddly, 8 year old - twelve year old kid who adores his family and will take, as a reward, a kiss or a raison. He still has outbursts when he feels picked on by James, who now and then can be playing along nicely, then pushes him too far. Peter's resultant wail gives James away every time.

It is then that we have one of those defense/offense, who is to blame discussions I try to not get drawn into. They both are at fault, and if Rob saw it happen, he feels the need to act as eye witness. It rarely comes to any meaningful conclusion. So I am starting to chase them and tickle them, which is more fun than discussing it ad nauseum. I am thinking I will do it this way until they are twenty or so, and then maybe I'll try another approach.

Scapegoat

If there were a day when we all would stop in our tracks and say to each other, "I am really sorry for hurting you," this would be a good day.

This would also be a perfect day for us as a nation to say to God, "We are so sorry. We are sorry we have tried to do things without consulting you. We have really messed up."

This would be the perfect day, because it is The Day. Today is Yom Kippur, the Day of Covering or Day of Atonement. Today God made coverings for Adam and Eve's sin in the Garden by shedding the blood of an innocent animal.

Today is The Day when, all down the centuries, the High Priest of Israel killed a goat for the nation's sins and sent another identical goat as Azazel, or scapegoat, out into the wilderness to carry their sins away.

The two look-alike goats represented one sacrifice. A piece of red wool was tied around the horn of one to identify it as the scapegoat. The High Priest took the other, 'the Lord's goat' and sacrificed it, catching its blood in a golden bowl.

Quaking with fear in God's holy presence, but trusting in the blood, he carefully carried the bowl, passing beyond the thick veil of the Temple and into the Holy of Holies. Once there, he sprinkled it seven times over the mercy seat as an atonement for sin.

The sound of the tinkling bells around the hem of his Day of Atonement tunic indicated that all was well in there. The word in Hebrew for tunic is the same word used for the garments God sewed to cover Adam and Eve. So he should be ok, but if he were to be be struck dead, a rope had been tied around his ankle to ensure that someone could pull him out.

For several days prior to this he'd been quarantined, and today bathed and dressed in his special, one time only, pure white, linen garment especially made for this ritual. If God was pleased that he'd flawlessly fulfilled all the regulations for the national sacrifice, the sins for the upcoming year would be totally covered, as white as snow.

After coming out from the Holy of Holies, the High Priest then turned the live goat around to face the people, soberly laid his hands on its head, and recited over it all their sins. He loosened the crimson tie on its horn and cut it in half. One half was then affixed to the door of the sanctuary and the other half retied on the goat.

As Jesus was driven into the wilderness for forty days, the creature was then driven into the wilderness. A good ten miles from camp should have assured that it wouldn't come wandering back with all the sins upon it, but sometimes the man leading it would take matters into his own hands and push it over a cliff.

If this worked and the goat did not return, the red wool tie on the sanctuary door would turn white as snow. This was the prophetic indicator of the year ahead that forgiveness was guaranteed for future sins. Whew!

God's love is always looking for a way to cover a multitude of sins. 2000 years ago Jesus Christ became not only our High Priest but also the final pure 'Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world,' the Lord's sacrifice, promised Abraham on the same mountain years before, and the Scapegoat taking the blame for every sin.

God says, "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool." (Isaiah 1:18) Our part is to grab hold of this clearing of our record, past and future, hold our atonement deep within our beings, and never, ever let go of it.

Edna and Grace

Several ladies were sitting in the lobby of the seniors' home, when my friend Sherry and I entered. They sat quietly staring into space. A couple looked our way, so we introduced ourselves, and that's how we met Edna and Grace.

Grace had a gentle face with a sweet smile. She sat placidly, her gnarled hands loosely folded in her lap. Her face had many deep lines. When I asked her, she told me she loved Jesus very much and had loved Him for years. She was now 94.

Her blind eyes teared up as she spoke of the recent hurricane and loss of lives. I hugged her and asked if she were eager for the coming of the Lord. She replied, "Oh, yes." She felt He would be coming very soon.

I turned to Edna in the chair next to her. She had been sitting bolt upright, listening to us without a word. "Are you looking forward to the return of the Lord?" I asked innocently.

Suddenly she stood to her feet and with her face six inches from mine she declared, "The longer He takes the better. He'd better take a few hundred more years!"

Out of the corner of my eye I caught Sherry's raised eyebrows. It was obvious to both of us that this was not our new friend Edna who was speaking. I looked into her eyes and quietly but firmly said, "Well, in the name of Jesus I am telling you, He is coming soon."

She pushed past me, walked in a big circle around the room and finally stopped and stood at the doorway watching us. I prayed silently that God would set her free to be happy and blessed like Grace.

Meanwhile Grace sat peacefully smiling in her chair. I turned back to her and asked, "Grace, do you miss reading now that you are blind?" She said, "Yes, I miss the newspaper and my Bible."

I offered to read to her from the book of Ephesians, which she liked because she had once visited Ephesus. The first verses contained her name. "Grace be unto you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ."

I want to tell the boys how important it is that, while they are young, they obey Jesus immediately and never allow thoughts of fears or anger to control them. We all can decide where our thoughts will wander, and which attitudes we will harbor.

If we don't, we run the risk of a toxic build-up in our minds, which will most assuredly come flowing out of us in the future when we are old and vulnerable.

Childlike trust in God's character and the Bible's over 7000 promises can erect a fortress of peace that will "stand guard over our mind in Christ Jesus." Even when we grow old, we will win the battle for our minds.

Pup

"Dixie Mae"

For several months we have been fighting a health problem with Skippy our dear Spaniel mix. On returning from a kennel where he had stayed during our vacation, he brought with him "the itch" which the vet said was related to an allegic reation to flea bites. Since fleas are a very real and present danger in the South, we took it seriously and began treating him.

Off and on over the last year we used antibiotics and alternative medicine and creams, and recently had begun bathing him daily to give him some relief from the relentless scratching. His hair was beginning to wear thin and I was feeling very sad indeed about our once beautiful dog. Several months of 90's plus temperatures were not helping. And in the past week I had taken to daily laying hands on him and praying for relief and healing.

Two days ago Skip followed Bob's truck down the driveway, and a fast moving truck hit him, throwing him onto the grassy shoulder. He died instantly, doing his forbidden but favorite thing of all, biting the tire of a passing vehicle.

It was a tearful and quiet couple days at our house. However, I felt as though God had a fresh start for us and would comfort us as only He can do. Then I remembered that earlier this week Bob had mentioned a puppy, a little refugee from Katrina, that he'd heard about at work. The caregivers had asked if we wanted her, but I hadn't felt ready for two dogs.

Long story short, today we have a new, brown Boxer mix puppy, ten weeks old. Like Skipper, he appears to be a Mommy's dog, loves to lick my ears and curl on my lap. The boys and Bob are taking great delight in him and he them.

Once again God the Redeemer shows up and does His kind and gracious thing in our family. He is so good. He can always be depended upon. Happy is the man that trusts in Him.