Sweet Surprise

I have hesitated to journal this, because it was so strange and wonderful that I wanted to observe it for a few days first.

About a month ago I felt God nudging me to pray a little differently, well, a whole lot differently, for our family. I began daily, hourly proclaiming the various freedoms listed in Luke 4:18-19 about every situation and individual that came to mind.

Prompted by the messages at our church, I have come to see that God does not want His people floundering about, muddling through, or coping with situations. Mediocrity or defeat or excuses are not to be our options. We are supposed to win every time, to take the territory.

He is happy when we live in a place where we have truly snatched our lives back from pressures that have been hassling us, perhaps even for years. We have wished and wished certain monkeys would shoo from our family tree, and now they finally are skedaddling.

My question has been, God, how do I do this? We are supposed to be "new creations in Christ Jesus; old things have passed away. Behold ALL things have become new." Really?? How can I NOT be impacted by the bad things that turned me inside out years ago? Can I ever hope to be that kind of Free in this life? Can I really be untouched by what may already be in my family's bloodstream?

It is even more nagging to us who have plucked children out of the darkness of an orphanage in Ukraine...or Romania...or China, or wherever. Who knows what violence and pain and twisting of minds went on in these kids' histories! Is there a way to erase it entirely? Do I need a priest to exorcise my kids just to be sure??

Why are there times when a stubborn something comes over my child's face and he digs in his heels for no apparent reason? Or he flares up for seemingly nothing at all. Or squeezes tighter or grips a table knife as he talks about someone we know he loves? Why does a child whisper with teeth clenched, "I will get you," when you know he is truly glad to be with us in his new home.

Why would a girl say, "I want to go back to the orphanage," when she knows there is less than nothing for her there? When there is death in the streets for her there? Why, when I have seen the great longing on her face as she lays her head on a woman's shoulder, does she turn hateful when given the mothering she craves? Why?

Should I scold her? Should I discipline him? Should I reason with them both? Should I listen to them pour out their anger? Should I demand they show gratitude? Should I have someone else plead with them that they are crazy to throw all they have away.

Can I MAKE James love his Ukrainian brother and convince him otherwise, when he is certain that Peter is his one grief in life? When between times of happily playing ball together, he makes quiet little jokes at Peter's expanse. Should I wear myself thin running interference or manipulating things so each child gets his or her special times to feel uniquely appreciated?

While these things have their place, none of them ultimately can change a heart. I have tried them all, and at times I have stood scratching my head as it has only grown worse.

I have always believed that Jesus Christ has all the answers, and that He delivers us from all forms of evil. that has been my experience. But what if I have asked and asked and asked Him about a specific thing, and He still hasn't done it? What if the kids we brought from Ukraine 'don't work out' and we fail because we just couldn't break through the something that is holding them? What if our biological kids are the same?!

The first thing I know in all this is a great revelation. The 'something' that seems to be clinging to a person, is really a 'someone.' And the second thing I know for sure is that I have no business trying to get it off, unless I am baptised in God's Holy Spirit. If I am not, I will get whipped trying.

The greatest comfort is that that 'someone' hates being around the Presence of God. And I can be filled with that Presence, the Holy Spirit, and I CAN do something about it without getting shredded. It/he will flee. I MUST resist him in the power of the Spirit and with the Word of God, as Jesus did in the wilderness, and he will flee.

Last Sunday evening when Sherry played her worship CD, we unwittingly 'resisted' in the easiest, most pleasant way possible. We all sat and soaked in God's Presence.

As we did, something happened to James and Peter. Something got up and left them after that. Someone? got up and left our boys. Though James and Peter were darlings before, now they are dearer than ever, a degree free-er than ever.

I am choked up as I think of James coming up to me yesterday and putting his arms gently around me, or holding my hand in the parking lot at Wal Mart. I am amazed at God's love inside him shining out through his clear eyes, not only for me, but for Peter! I am deeply touched that this week he has read Peter to sleep in their beds. That last night I found them in the same bed draped across each other, listening to an Odyssey tape as they drifted off.

My eyes tear up as I hear James' voice speaking without a hint of holier-than-thou as he sweetly helps Peter with his math. I see a combined softness and maturity in his face that makes me do a double take. There is a twinkle in his eye and a gentleness around his mouth that, precious as he was before, was not consistently there six days ago.

God is truly amazing. His Presence is all we need in our lives. His Words coming out our mouths day after day are the only words we need to pronounce over and around our dear ones. We declare in faith that the love of God is shed abroad in all our hearts by the Holy Spirit.

Our Father Who is faithful hears us quoting Him and sees us walking it out. He loves it, and eagerly moves in to bring it to pass. He gladly sets us and our households more free than we were even a week ago.