Happy Thanksgiving, Lord

In everything give thanks.

While we are missing nine who are Up North for Thanksgiving, those that are here were sweet as anything yesterday, preparing to celebrate with friends at this house.

Rob and Peter had cleaned the windows as they looked through at each other, and at least one side was not streaky. Rob's were better, but then he just turned 15, so they should be. James had sat in a dry bathtub for an hour peeling off old caulking. And Maggie came home from college to bake her famous pumpkin pie.

Just as I was needing her, she drove up the driveway in the dark. I was having a little walk down the drive to the road with James, praying under my breath as we went, "All right, Lord, how are you going to handle this one?"

Peter had come into the kitchen, his face all red from shooting baskets with James. He wailed, "Mom, I hate it when James grabs me around the neck like that!"

I hate it too and had talked to James about it before. I wanted this time to be the last. My first reaction was to think, "This has got to stop! I'll tell his father!" But I really didn't want to simply change his behavior. I wanted him to not desire to strangle his brother, once and for all.

Even though neck grabbing shouted at me that it was the big issue here, I think God did not want me to focus on it. So we walked.

"James, can you tell me what happened out here? What did Peter do to make you want to strangle him?" He explained that Peter was being annoying again. James had asked him to stop and to give him the ball, and Peter wouldn't. (Come, please, Holy Spirit, and say something.)

Now, the pecking order among the three boys has been working well. I wish I had emphasized it more with our girls. The younger must obey the elder. But, the elder must not abuse his authority. The one on the bottom of the pile has the advantage of having big brothers to protect and defend and help him, while at the same time they can send him to chase balls, etc.

So...it was a matter of Peter's infraction of the 'Who's Older?' rule. (Oh Lord, what shall I say?) I called Peter, and in front of James I said to him, "Peter, if James tells me again that you are not obeying him, I will have you sit on the kitchen stool next to me while I work."

Whew! that was enough to get Peter back into line fast. Then I could address the matter of the strangling one's younger brother as a way of showing one's authority.

Softened by my respect of the rule, James was ok with continuing the discussion. So we walked on farther down the driveway into the dark. It was quiet and peaceful down there. Venus was shining brightly to the west above a faintly pink horizon. The air was pleasant and cool. After a minute, James said, "Mom, there are different ways you can put your hands around someone's neck."

Well, isn't that special? I thought. I bet you learned that one for survival.

He continued, "One way you can really hurt a person, and the other way is how I did it with Peter."

"I see, I answered, "Well, James, if I promise you that I will put Peter on a stool when he is annoying, will you promise me that you will not go for his jugular for a minor offense? I don't want there to be any grabbing of necks in our family. It isn't God's way of handling things."

"OK, Mom," he promised.

Just then, Peter came riding down the driveway in the dark and we all got over on the grass together laughing, because a car was slowing down at our house, ready to turn in.

It was Maggie, the big sister who makes the wonderful pumpkin pies, who bosses her three little brothers in a way they will take it, because they also love that she brings music and fun home from college with her.

Thank you Father, You did it again. You never fail me or forsake me. Happy Thanksgiving to You, too!