Getting Nervous

I remember how I felt. I wanted to pick everyone's brains about what it would be like getting a couple orphans and bringing them into our house. A dear lady who is headed over in a few day has written me asking the same question. "Do you have any advice?"

I hope she doesn't mind my answering here. This is in some early blog entries, but it is good for me to recall the things we did that worked. So here's what comes to mind...

This past year I have experienced God's Word, the Bible, and His love for me personally on a daily basis, so that I am able to pass that on in a very real way to my boys.

Jesus' cross and resurrection for the sins of the world have become increasingly revealed to me in their immensity. As this past year has unfolded, I have been struck over and over again by it and say to myself, "Wow, Jesus' cross covers this too!" and "Jesus really is alive and well!'

This probably doesn't sound specific enough in terms of advice, but I know God has been my strength with the boys and all the challenges of life. Quite simple really. I just cling to Him and trust Him to redeem every situation that arises, and He does.

At first we had a young woman come over every day to tutor the boys in English. They loved her and it reminded them of Ukraine. It was helpful having her translate for them when they and we were frustrated by the language barrier.

The boys at first were very independent and needed reigning in. So we limited the rooms they were allowed in and we limited them to the downstairs and to using only certain things in the house. I never regretted making close boundaries. It is something I learned as a teacher. Be strict at first because it is VERY difficult to pull back later, when they begin getting presumptuous. They wanted to touch everything.

We started from square one with manners. My husband was ruthless :) I just learned to bite my tongue. But they respect him and that is the way males relate. You'd think I'd have that down after 37 years of marriage, but I had a concentration of girls for so many years, only NOW I am really seeing what makes guys tick!

Oh, yes, I was talking about limiting the boys. A couple days I recall saying, No to James every time he turned around. Once he knew his limits he was much happier. He had learned to control his environment as you can imagine. I know ALL the orphan kids do it. And they have to relinquish that control. As they see that you really love them even if you are strict, it works. Orphan kids I think all tend to be whiney and pouty at first, but that passes as we gently point it out to them. At times they were downright ugly, i.e. swearing. I said, "Nyet! You may not do that. This is a Jesus house."

I also told them both, "You cannot make me stop loving you." They were absolutely amazed by that. I even let them see me cry about how much I loved them and what we had gone through for them. They softened and softened to the point that now I get so many hugs, it's not fair :)

The other thing I did was teach them profound but simple truths that I learned in the Bible. These kids really relate to the earthy stories Jesus told about the poor and the street people, about killing, mean people, harlots, widows, kings, children and about being compassionate. I used a good Bible story book with pictures. At first they'd get up and walk around, but I would gently show them how to sit still. They loved it and would pull their chairs close to mine.

I taught them 5 word sayings. The first was "The Lord is my Shepherd," one word per finger. Then, from the words of Jesus, "I will never leave you." They loved it. I believe the Bible teachings set the tone for a house of peace. God listened to His stories too, and He approved and came into my kitchen on many occasions.

Every morning I made them kneel by their beds and we'd pray the Our Father.

This is bringing back all the memories.... I'm sure it's more than you asked for, but anyway, a year later the difference is like night and day, the changes in these boys. God has blessed us, He is the kindest Person I have ever met.

Yes, you are nervous about your big adventure, but God has been preparing you all along. Just watch and see what He does and you won't be nervous any more. You will be writing a blog because of how Big God is to you. Your faith will grow and He will come like you have never experienced before.